Yoga gave me Truth.. Satya

So the big move date it rapiddddly approaching. Bittersweet. Sam met me at my 'old house' and we packed all my stuff. We had from 9-5 to get it all packed and ready for the Uhaul that comes on Monday...but of course Billy who from here on out will be referred to as CS ...(cock sucker) - not bitter just truth ;) showed up at 3 (even though he promised he would not be there till 5) well I am sure we all know how this ended...not good. Lets hope all my stuff is still in the boxes and not out in the snow banks.

I am sitting here today Thursday February 26, 2009 looking at my life wondering how a smart strong capable women let her life get to this point. Let myself loose myself. I gave my heart, soul, spirit to someone and something that i believed in to my core...to be left living out of a suitcase watching everything i have known for a very long time end. I have built a good life a solid life, but along the way forgot about me, and lost the one person that will always be there for me no matter what...ME.

I in no way want nor need sympathy for my situation, I got myself in, I can damn well get myself out. I will come out the other side of this pain so much stronger, aware of myself, my worth and aware of my truth.

Yoga brought me back. I dedicated the last 2 years to exploring every aspect of Yoga that I could...and you know what i found...ME.

I am looking forward to this next chapter in my life and doing my very best to keep an open heart and an open mind. I know I have great things to give this life, and that is exactly what I plan to do. When i leave this body, i will have left some impact on this world....maybe just a beautiful garden, or have given Yoga to abused women, or maybe my smile gave someone hope...

Love love and more love

a angel named Dirty Dianne

Em's drawing of Di bitching cuz the cold is coming :)
my Birthday 3 or 4 years ago

again she is 'special'

must of been an awesome story...look at her face! :)

I day at the office sending this picture back and forth of killing each other :)

Di at Storyland.. hahah

The Oompa Loompas

hanging with the Sox ;)

I got her a helmet for xmas last year, b/c she is special. (a.k.a. retarded)

Campin

Amazing when you try to be so strong and yet the tears still come...my other half is moving across the country tomorrow morning and I am standing here waving goodbye as she drives away...Well let me start from the beginning...

When I moved back to NH - i found myself in a city that i did not know and in a new life that i did not recognize yet...I was bartending/cocktailing at the time and day 1 after unpacking i set out in the Monarch City in the search of a Job. I applied to every damn restaurant i drove past - nothing...I did not get it. I was qualified, good personality- what the hell was the issue.?!?! So now i lived in this foreign place with no money, rent coming up, no friends near to pep talk me through when I drove past Margarita's and there was an open parking place right up front - so I whipped my Toyota paseo in and went in for a job. Hired on the spot started that night. This was the end of September. Well as so soon learned - THAT PLACE SUCKED! The People SUCK! The shittiest group of co-workers I have ever met and dealt with. I was miserable, but with some money coming in. I wanted to move back to SC. Back to the life I recognized. Back to a place where people were KIND. I cam home every night stinking like refried beans and onions...dreading my next shift before it even started.... So now let’s jump forward to Halloween. I LOVE Halloween and the managers said we could dress up for our shifts. Well I still have not made any 'connections' with anyone that worked there and was being tormented like it was middle school daily but my asshole co-workers, but eff it I said. eff them I am going to dress and enjoy Halloween and screw their jabs, that I knew i would get. I had no formal costume - I put on a pair of vinyl pants - pink fluffy shirt - and a purple wig cut in a rockin bob. So I walk in and right at the hostess stand is this girl Dianne who worked there but I had only worked with once and did not have much conversation with her. She was one of the few that had been nice all along. Well there she is in the same God forsaken costume as me!!!! We both looked at each other and died laughing!!! How weird that we would both throw together random shit and then have someone else be in the same gitup all the way down to the wig!!!! From that moment her and I have been inseparable. We finish each other sentences, know what the other is thinking without them ever needing to speak, tweedle dee and tweedle dumb. We always laugh and say I have half her brain and she has half mine. Then as much as we are the same person - when we are different we are as different as you can get. She HATES the 80's. I am the 80's :) I put belts over my shirt just to watch her squirm :) She HATES country says that will be what is playing in the background when she hangs herself :) I LOVE COUNTRY :) I crank it and sing to her at the top of my lungs any chance i get. I left Margarita's a few months into the spring that year and started working at Watson and about 3 years ago I got her a job here too. So we work together mon-fri from 830-430 and when we leave work before we get home we are either texting each other or on the phone with each other. She made work fun to go to and fun to bitch about together.

I have never met anyone like Dianne in my life. She is full of piss & vinegar, has no problem speaking her mind, B automatically follow A - no bullshit, no what ifs, and when she wants something she gets it. She is amazingly beautiful inside and out. I would not want a life if it did not have her in it in some form. She has been my sister from that Halloween Day. Her friendship is one of the most amazing gifts this life has and will ever give me. There really are no words that I can say to explain the love and the bond we have. She will be sorely missed.

She moves to Colorado Springs tomorrow morning, and there are not enough pep talks in the world that I could give myself to make this deep sadness stop. I am so happy for her and her new adventure, but I truly cannot imagine not seeing her every day. We joke and say that we have mastered our friendship now, so we need to move on so we can master the long distance relationship. As I talk myself through this, my heart breaks. I miss her already and can’t believe that tomorrow she leaves.

She is a true angel. She makes me laugh and lets me cry. I wish her all the beauty this life can give. I am a better person just for knowing her.

and if she read this she would tell me to pull up my skirt and wipe me clam...STOP BEING SO GAY! :) and that is why I love her.